I have loved this song for a very long time. I remember, about 12 years ago or so, when I worked for Banana Republic, I would open the store frequently which entailed a lot of cleaning. This song would come on and when I finally listened to it, I fell in love.
Its message is so beautiful. I like to envision that this is how all mothers feel about their babies. I would listen to this song when I was feeling low and think about loving myself the way that a mother loves a child. I even included this song in my yoga class playlists with the intention that my students would feel that way too. I truly believe that when we can love ourselves in the same unconditional way that a parent loves its child, we will find the path to our own ultimate healing.
This is an amateur video, but it has the words on it as well.
I sing this song to baby already, and know I will once its here in my arms.
The words that touch my heart the most are:
Never forget who you are Little Star.
Never forget how to dream Butterfly.
Never forget where you come from,
From Love.
I dedicate those words to each and everyone reading this now.
Con MUCHO Amore,
Heidi Jae
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Thanksgiving fun with the family
Eric and Jenn, my brother and sister-in-law from California came to visit with their two daughters, Ella and Hayley for Thanksgiving. It was also like Christmas for them because my other brother Allen, his wife Holli, and their son Zack gave them a Disney princess costume kit and kitchenette. Ella had so much fun dressing everyone up and making meals for us with her sister Hayley.
Zack loves to take photos and took many of the ones below:
Two of my favorite boys. :)
I love this picture of Zack and I. He's a cutie!!
Eric and Jenn also gave me a fetal heart monitor/microphone. Here are some pictures of me listening in on the baby. I was 31 weeks pregnant.
Zack loves to take photos and took many of the ones below:
Two of my favorite boys. :)
I love this picture of Zack and I. He's a cutie!!
Eric and Jenn also gave me a fetal heart monitor/microphone. Here are some pictures of me listening in on the baby. I was 31 weeks pregnant.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A Note on Names
For Padme Pearl:
It usually goes like this:
Someone says, 'So, have you picked out names yet?'
"Yeah. We're thinking Padme Pearl if its a girl"
A reply of either silence, a confused look, a "Huh?", a "Pad... Wha?", "Like on Star Wars?" or a "Oh, thats beautiful!", or if its someone in the know: "Oh, like Om Mani Padme Hum, awesome!"
And then I go into saying, spelling, and explaining what the name means for those who don't understand. Which is usually some version of: Its a Sanskrit derivative of a Hindi word that means Lotus. Or more specifically, the wisdom from following your heart's lotus. Of course, after hearing what the name means, they smile and feel the magic and beauty of it.
Because of this explanation process, I have had my doubts about sticking to this name. But Papa, he is definitely attached to a baby girl being Padme. Which is nice for me, it makes me feel like I am not being tyrannical in my "progressive" baby naming.
This name is not normal, and yes, potentially difficult for the child. However, what is beautiful about it, is that this name chose her. Granted, it has a very deep resonance within my being, but it came to this child's first name (if we indeed have a daughter) through a process of singing devotional matras, meditation, and then finally, in a dream.
If I do have a daughter, I will be amazed at the magic that can exist in our intuition and dreams. You see, I have been desiring a family for many, many years. A couple years ago, in an attempt to ease the suffering of where I was vs. where I wanted to be, I chanted OM many times before going to sleep. That night was the first night that a girl appeared in my dreams that were flooded with light. I didn't know how I knew that this girl was my daughter, because she actually didn't look much like me that I could tell. She had dark hair and dark eyes, at about 5 or 6 years of age. I awoke with a sense of grace and peace, knowing that someday I would have a daughter. I understood that the imagery that the light played, spoke to me to continue following my heart and embracing my own spirituality and it would come.
Years later, here we are. :)
Also, a magical aspect of carrying a child, is you get a sense for the energy and personality of the baby, before anyone else does. Through dreams and life experiences while being pregnant, I understand that this child has a high vibrational calling from the very beginning of the pregnancy. Of course, anyone could say I am biased in my assumption. They could be right, but also, I know that this spirit was "knocking on my door" from the moment James and I took our friendship into a deeper place. We are both dedicated to evolution, raising our consciousness, and expressing our lives in a creative way. I know without a doubt, this little being chose us. :)
Obviously by the name of this blog "Possibly Padme" I have had intuition that I am having a girl. But this is not so concrete in my mind that I am expecting it. In fact, I occasionally go through periods of time where I receive messages/symbolism that makes me believe we are having a boy.
***
For Bryce Björn:
I'll say, "If its a boy, we're thinking Bryce Björn" and instantly the responses are: "Oh, that is beautiful!", "Oh, I like that!" or any other positive, supportive variant. (One family member in particular, who will remain nameless, thinks we should name our baby Bryce Björn whether its a girl or a boy because she likes it so much.)
Next I'll go into explaining the name, even though its not necessary... "Bryce is James' middle name and was his grandfather's name. And Björn just came to me, and I knew I wanted it for the middle name. Later I found out its a Swedish name and word that means bear. This is particularly exciting to me because I always call James, Hi-may Bear. And lately I've been calling myself Mama Bear."
Truth be told, when I was inspired by Björn, I was at burning man and my dear friend Nathan was wearing a particularly hip pair of long johns. They were green and had yellow lines making a nice design in them. On the wasteline was the name of the clothing designer. All I remember was the second name was Björn. I thought, I really like that name. And then *POW* it hit me. Bryce Björn, I LOVE IT! It had a nice flow and ring to it and offered a little bit of flare that I would want in any name of our child.
I love that both of our name choices are beyond the borders of typical American names. I love that we are embracing the global community that we are. What an opportunity to continue to embrace the evolution of a world with less boundaries and borders. :)
I was amazed when later I discovered that Björn is a word that means Bear. I felt like, ah-ha! We might actually have a boy!! As I mentioned earlier, I felt a particular energy/personality resonance with this child and I just thought it was more like a Padme than a Bryce. But Bears are a very special animal totem. They represent a deep, meditative, healing energy. They represent both the underworld and the living world since they exist very well in both through hibernation and "domineering" mountains and rivers. Plus, James has deep deep earth/mountain/river energy that pulses through him. Its quite beautiful. I finally found a song in my heart that was in rhythm and harmony with the potential of having a little boy.
What I've found the most beauty and appreciation in, is that now, I no longer think of having "My little girl/My little boy." Now I think about this beautiful soul that I am getting to experience through my pregnancy. I wonder to myself, 'Who is this little one!? Who am I getting to bring into this world!?" I will always have a motherly attachment to this baby, but in my appreciation for their soul, I understand deeply that this beautiful child has a path all of its own. I already feel blessed to play a role in bringing them here and expressing and sharing my wisdom and our beautiful community, our sangha, with this little one.
I can't wait!!
Only 7 weeks and 5 more days until the due date. :)
It usually goes like this:
Someone says, 'So, have you picked out names yet?'
"Yeah. We're thinking Padme Pearl if its a girl"
A reply of either silence, a confused look, a "Huh?", a "Pad... Wha?", "Like on Star Wars?" or a "Oh, thats beautiful!", or if its someone in the know: "Oh, like Om Mani Padme Hum, awesome!"
And then I go into saying, spelling, and explaining what the name means for those who don't understand. Which is usually some version of: Its a Sanskrit derivative of a Hindi word that means Lotus. Or more specifically, the wisdom from following your heart's lotus. Of course, after hearing what the name means, they smile and feel the magic and beauty of it.
Because of this explanation process, I have had my doubts about sticking to this name. But Papa, he is definitely attached to a baby girl being Padme. Which is nice for me, it makes me feel like I am not being tyrannical in my "progressive" baby naming.
This name is not normal, and yes, potentially difficult for the child. However, what is beautiful about it, is that this name chose her. Granted, it has a very deep resonance within my being, but it came to this child's first name (if we indeed have a daughter) through a process of singing devotional matras, meditation, and then finally, in a dream.
If I do have a daughter, I will be amazed at the magic that can exist in our intuition and dreams. You see, I have been desiring a family for many, many years. A couple years ago, in an attempt to ease the suffering of where I was vs. where I wanted to be, I chanted OM many times before going to sleep. That night was the first night that a girl appeared in my dreams that were flooded with light. I didn't know how I knew that this girl was my daughter, because she actually didn't look much like me that I could tell. She had dark hair and dark eyes, at about 5 or 6 years of age. I awoke with a sense of grace and peace, knowing that someday I would have a daughter. I understood that the imagery that the light played, spoke to me to continue following my heart and embracing my own spirituality and it would come.
Years later, here we are. :)
Also, a magical aspect of carrying a child, is you get a sense for the energy and personality of the baby, before anyone else does. Through dreams and life experiences while being pregnant, I understand that this child has a high vibrational calling from the very beginning of the pregnancy. Of course, anyone could say I am biased in my assumption. They could be right, but also, I know that this spirit was "knocking on my door" from the moment James and I took our friendship into a deeper place. We are both dedicated to evolution, raising our consciousness, and expressing our lives in a creative way. I know without a doubt, this little being chose us. :)
Obviously by the name of this blog "Possibly Padme" I have had intuition that I am having a girl. But this is not so concrete in my mind that I am expecting it. In fact, I occasionally go through periods of time where I receive messages/symbolism that makes me believe we are having a boy.
***
For Bryce Björn:
I'll say, "If its a boy, we're thinking Bryce Björn" and instantly the responses are: "Oh, that is beautiful!", "Oh, I like that!" or any other positive, supportive variant. (One family member in particular, who will remain nameless, thinks we should name our baby Bryce Björn whether its a girl or a boy because she likes it so much.)
Next I'll go into explaining the name, even though its not necessary... "Bryce is James' middle name and was his grandfather's name. And Björn just came to me, and I knew I wanted it for the middle name. Later I found out its a Swedish name and word that means bear. This is particularly exciting to me because I always call James, Hi-may Bear. And lately I've been calling myself Mama Bear."
Truth be told, when I was inspired by Björn, I was at burning man and my dear friend Nathan was wearing a particularly hip pair of long johns. They were green and had yellow lines making a nice design in them. On the wasteline was the name of the clothing designer. All I remember was the second name was Björn. I thought, I really like that name. And then *POW* it hit me. Bryce Björn, I LOVE IT! It had a nice flow and ring to it and offered a little bit of flare that I would want in any name of our child.
I love that both of our name choices are beyond the borders of typical American names. I love that we are embracing the global community that we are. What an opportunity to continue to embrace the evolution of a world with less boundaries and borders. :)
I was amazed when later I discovered that Björn is a word that means Bear. I felt like, ah-ha! We might actually have a boy!! As I mentioned earlier, I felt a particular energy/personality resonance with this child and I just thought it was more like a Padme than a Bryce. But Bears are a very special animal totem. They represent a deep, meditative, healing energy. They represent both the underworld and the living world since they exist very well in both through hibernation and "domineering" mountains and rivers. Plus, James has deep deep earth/mountain/river energy that pulses through him. Its quite beautiful. I finally found a song in my heart that was in rhythm and harmony with the potential of having a little boy.
What I've found the most beauty and appreciation in, is that now, I no longer think of having "My little girl/My little boy." Now I think about this beautiful soul that I am getting to experience through my pregnancy. I wonder to myself, 'Who is this little one!? Who am I getting to bring into this world!?" I will always have a motherly attachment to this baby, but in my appreciation for their soul, I understand deeply that this beautiful child has a path all of its own. I already feel blessed to play a role in bringing them here and expressing and sharing my wisdom and our beautiful community, our sangha, with this little one.
I can't wait!!
Only 7 weeks and 5 more days until the due date. :)
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